Pages

About Me

My photo
Denver, CO, United States
Adventurer, wanderer, explorer extraordinaire. I love travel, yoga, photography, and cooking. I often pretend like I'm crafty, have a black rescue cat. This is the chronicling of my life from recent college grad with a degree in my pocket (with honors, thank you very much) and no immediate job prospects on the horizon--That little tidbit could be due to the fact that my boyfriend and I recently decided one day over cereal, "Hey! You know what would be a good idea? How about we uproot our stable lives, quit our jobs and move to Denver?!" And so we did. Just like that. We left the comfort of our 1100sq ft home and all our friends, ceremoniously quit our jobs and hit the road. One U-Haul, two cars, and one storage unit later, here we are! Livin' the dream in a cousin's basement and trolling the interwebs for employment in search for a better life in the Mile High City--To present day where we are living the dream in West Wash Park and planning our wedding after 3 wonderful and eventful years, in the 303.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Secrets

Last night, we had the pleasure of attending yet another, "this only happens in awesome cities!" event. We took a mini road trip (4hrs) and drove through Northwest Colorado to Grand Junction where we attended a Postsecret event at CMU. The event was interesting for several reasons... first, as my boyfriend so chivalrously pointed out: I don't just feel old, I am old. Well: older. Comparatively. Not that age is a bad thing by any means. I often equate age with wisdom and experience and give it veneration and respect. But, if I had graduated at 21, gone to grad school for 2 years, or toured around South America like most of my friends on Facebook are busy doing- each crafting their own unique post-college new world identities- then I would still be sitting there: 25 and figuring my way out. Finding my place. I would be a post-Post Grad. Then what?  I may identify myself strongly with the free spirited Tom's wearing youth of college campuses, but in my my ratty home-made v-neck and skinny jeans, I felt more like an imposter than a compatriot. This is my first strange encounter with age disassociation. Somewhere in between the awkward shiny days of 21 and the hip sarcastic safety of 30-here I am. The true definition of a Twenty something....but what exactly is that something? When you are busy becoming what are you? The truth is, right now, I don't feel like much of anything. Except a disillusioned anti-social basement dweller....but, before I begin to wallow too deeply in my own vaingloriousness, I reach my second point.
    The event was interesting. If you know what Postsecret is, and have ever had the interesting task of explaining it to someone, you know it can be quite challenging to define.  It is better seen and experienced, than explained. But, for lack of a better explanation: it is a "community art project" that has morphed into the largest form of group therapy I can imagine. I have always strongly believed in acknowledging and strengthening our shared humanity, believing therein lies our greatest hope. Don't worry, I'm not getting all new-agey guru on you. A lesson I've recently learned however, is that sometimes the greatest relief can come from simply sharing something out loud. Even if there is no solution, no healing to be found, a tiny step can be taken simply by giving it voice and allowing yourself to come that much closer to a place of better. Not that we all have to be squeeze-boxes to our innermost thoughts and feelings. In fact, there are many things I'd rather people not share (I don't need to know the intimate details of what happens in your bathroom or your bedroom, thanks). Many of the secrets shared are ones I don't even relate to, but they give hope and help to those who do relate to them, and make them feel less alone; which can sometimes be the greatest gift. It's not the nature of our problems that unifies us, its our need to share them, and in that, find community. Anyway, all this is a verrrry long and round about way of saying, that I was grateful not only for the secrets shared, but for the perspective they gave. Sometimes peeking into someone else's life can make you feel a whole lot better about your own. It's not a game of better or worse. Win vs. lose. It's about each person taking the time to take inventory of what they have, in addition to the have not's, and to be grateful for what they find. To appreciate the small things. To "find the everything in the nothing" to quote the beloved Miriam Bradbury. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

...S'wonderful, S'Marvelous...

Thank you Ganesh, Jesus, God, Allah, Buddha, Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever you may be--thank you!
There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel! Just when I hit my breaking point (as evidenced by my manic episode yesterday afternoon where I collapsed amongst the grocery bags on the living room floor, sobbing to my boyfriend about how I just couldn't stand it anymore!, and then consequently woke up with a lovely stress induced cold today as penance for my doomsday theatrics) I have landed an interview! AND, for icing on the cake, a dear friend of mine gave us her 7th row tickets to tonight's Rockies game for a much anticipated date night. So, what had started out as a bleak and decidedly grim week (Dear applicant, we thank you for your time and your interest in our organization. Unfortunately, we received 110 resumes for this posting, and went with a candidate who better fits our needs...it's not us, it's you. Note to self: next time be sure to add "makes rainbows in spare time when not taming unicorns and solving world hunger" to my list of standout accomplishments) has made a sharp right turn for the better! Even if those appear to be rain clouds on the horizon, and even if it's just a courtesy interview, I am going to dance my little Dayquil filled heart out in the rain if I have to, and celebrate the small victories (and the big ones) and the precious gifts life sends my way! I am going to do as my mother always taught me to do: defend my happiness (C) ! <--that little C there is because it's copyrighted. It's the title of my mom's forthcoming book, which you can buy at www.defendinghappiness.com 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

It's raining...raindrops!

It's Saturday night. All I want to do is get dressed up, hit the town for a tall Long Island, and dance like a maniac to Lady Gaga. But nooo. It's raining. And I'm broke. And, oh yeah, I don't have many new friends yet here in beloved old D-town. So, I sit. I sit, and I drink beer from a can. In-are you ready for this Giraldo?! - a hoodie! The humanity!
I suppose I should cut myself some slack. Not that any machine washable attire is normally in my wardrobe, but I have been pushing myself like a drill Sargent with yoga. I think I'm definitely the most fit I've been in my life-that's one plus to being unemployed! Which, is good since I usually come home and spend the evening making a ginormous calorie laden feast with whatever mish mash I can unearth from under Disney lunch pails and juice boxes in the fridge....It's amazing how quickly your sense of self can begin to crumble being unemployed and having few financial resources; so I try and hold on to the little things, like yoga. Like, photography, and cooking. Maybe one day, I'll even get good at this blog thing! It's like you have this life checklist: I finally found the right man, and the right city, the right car, now I just need the right job and the right house, oh and if we could just freeze time for a little bit while I gather these things, that'd be great! Then my little Barbie dream life will be complete! I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just trying to document the struggle with humor, in hopes that it helps. We all have our paths, I'm just trying to find mine. It's a long and winding, and glorious road full of beauty and surprise, but it can really suck sometimes. For now, I will just have to be content that I am warm and dry, drink my beer, watch some more bad sketch comedy on Netflix, and try and convince myself that maybe one day, if I try really, really hard, I won't need my little list anymore.